My Un-Fairy Tale

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My Un-Fairy Taleby Michael Richard on Wednesday, November 19, 2008.Once upon a time, (I think it might have been a Thursday), in a kingdom far away, (it might have been down the river just past the bend, you know the place), there lived a brave knight. Now this knight heard some tavern tales about an enchanted tower in which an evil wizard locked away some king’s beautiful daughter. The story continues to say that the wizard died before he could lift the enchantments he placed on the surrounding forest, and even on the tower itself, so the princess might still be trapped inside.Of course the knight being brave and all, took this as a noble quest, and after many years he managed to find the very village the story originated. The brave knight readied his sword and set off to brave the enchanted forest. He easily found a path that wound so much it seemed to wind magically back on itself many times, however he carried on. Then after one last twist the path just stopped, and much to his dismay the path behind him has also vanished without a trace. He grabbed his sword and started hacking his way through the trees in front of him, he was fully convinced that the tower must just be ahead. Finally just before his sword lay broken at his feet, he clears the last bush, looking through the hole he has just cleared he is surprised to see the very village he started at just that very morning.Now weapon less the knight trudged his way back to the village, he considered slipping into the tavern and morning the lose of his blade, but instead he thought of the princess, and how she desperately needed rescuing. He instead sought out the local blacksmith to fashion him a stronger weapon, istanbul escort so he can fight his way through the enchanted forest to the tower.He found the blacksmith at his forge shaping a huge axe. The smith says, without looking up, “I expected you earlier.”It turns out the blacksmith is also a mid-level wizard who is just putting the finishing touches on an enchanted axe that is supposed to be able to fell the largest of trees with but a single swing.The smith continues, “I was hoping to have had this axe ready before you ran through here this morning. But due to Farmer Blue’s horse throwing a shoe, I was outta town when you ran through earlier. I’ll have your new axe ready by the morning. You can come by and pick it up then.”With that the smith returns to muttering spells, and shaping the axe.The brave, tired, and somewhat embarrassed knight slipped into the tavern to celebrate his soon to be rescued princess bride to be.The next morning the brave knight set off once again to bravely storm through the enchanted forest, only this time he didn’t follow the magically enchanted path but cleared his own path straight through the enchanted forest with his enchanted axe, which work just like the smith said it would even the largest of trees fell with but a single swing of the axe.Just an hour later he, finally came across a large clearing with a lonely stone tower standing dead centre. He was sure that the lovely princess was waiting for him at the top of the tower. (Where else would a wizard have locked up a princess to hold her captive?)The brave knight his goal is sight started off across the clearing leaping and whooping in delight. zonguldak escort Of course all that noise awoke the dragon who was napping behind the tower. Now anyone who has ever encountered a dragon, knows that it is best to let sleeping dragons lie but that bit advice flashed through the knights mind about 20 second too late. He now faced a very cranky dragon who most like won’t take kindly to a loud knight leaping, and whooping across the clearing toward a tower the dragon swore to protect from any brave knight wise enough to find a way through the enchanted forest surrounding the stone tower.The brave knight stopped leaping and whooping as soon as he saw the dragon stretch is leathery wings to the sky, but it was too late. He then saw the scaly head of the dragon looking at him with what he felt was a look of hatred. The knight readied his enchanted axe hoping it can fall things other then just trees, such as a cranky dragon he accidentally woke up.The dragon seeing it was only a single knight and not a pack of orcs that he thought it might have been didn’t even take to the sky. He simply walked around the tower and placed himself between the now slightly shaking knight, and the only entrance to the tower. With a loud battle cry the brave knight charged, actually surprising the dragon so much it forgot it could breath fire, and the knight bashed it right on the head between its sleep encrusted eyes. The knight was surprised to find that the blow didn’t even scratch the dragon’s scales, but stunned the dragon long enough for him to make his way quickly through the unlocked door on the tower. (Hey, if you had a dragon guarding your home, escort bayan you would leave the door unlocked too, right?)Anyway the knight was stunned to find the princess standing at the bottom of the stairs scowling at him.”You didn’t hurt my dragon did you?”, she asked.Stunned the knight was speechless!She continues, “It’s always the same with you muscle headed knights, you always assume that the princess wants to leave.”The knight still stunned, just stood there with his back against the door.”I don’t want to leave this tower, I have everything my heart desires right here. And besides I’ve been here for over 50 years.”The brave knight actually gives the beautiful princess a long and lusty stare, she couldn’t be any more then 20, not over 50 as she claims. She’s got to be mistaken about how long she’s been here, the brave knight thought.The beautiful princess continues, “One of the enchantments the wizard placed on the tower was that I would never age. Why would I wish to leave that behind? Here I have eternal youth, and beauty. And as for company the dragon is very intellectual, and knows much about the world outside my tower. “The brave knight is stunned, does she NOT want to be rescued? He finally attempt to say something, but his tongue feels like its suddenly has turn to sandpaper, and all he can say is, “Huh?”, and “Wha…?”The princess then orders him to leave the axe in the pile with all the others, and to leave the tower, and apologise to the dragon. The brave knight hangs his head in shame, and tosses his axe onto a large pile of at least 50 other axes, each one surprisingly identical to his newly acquired axe, and sheepishly leaves the tower.The eternally beautiful princess then turns and makes her way quickly back up the stairs hoping that the dragon follows her advice and plays with the silly knight long enough for her to get back to her room to watch the dragon finally get his revenge on yet another muscle headed knight.The end?

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