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Chapter 1 – Marital Compromises
When Steve and I were married I’d fully expected it was a day that would bring about a number of significant changes to my life. Of course there was the whole marriage thing to absorb but I’m talking more about changes to my personal lifestyle and moral/ethical commitments. If anyone had asked the day before my marriage I would’ve told them I was completely prepared for marriage. Oh to be so young and naive again!
Not surprisingly for someone with my sexual history, the biggest changes I thought I needed to prepare for had to do with sex. I’d always assumed once I said my wedding vows I’d have sex only with my husband. Well, to be more specific I wouldn’t have sex with anyone outside our families. Nothing could ever keep me from satisfying the needs of my father! To put it in more simplistic terms, I wouldn’t commit adultery. It’s not like there are THAT many men in my family that are into incest so I knew that meant limiting myself to having sex with only a few men which was going to be a MAJOR adjustment. At the same time it’s not like I wasn’t fully prepared – or at least thought I was.
It was during my college years that my mom thoroughly indoctrinated me with regards to adultery. Her view was pretty simple – adultery was a sin against God, a violation of the Ten Commandments. Even if you could somehow put aside the religious issues (not a viable option for her but just to make a point), adultery was simply not something a “good” wife did. In a manner not so different than a daughter with respect to her father, a wife must submit to her husband and give herself only to his family which was now joined with hers through marriage.
While these limitation seemed rather draconian at first, one thing to keep in mind is that my mom’s definition of adultery was also a bit more liberal than most people’s. She defined adultery as “sex outside your family” where “family” included members on both sides of the wedding aisle out to and including first cousins, nieces and nephews. She also used the legalistic definition of “sex” which limited it to penetration of a female vagina by a male penis (doesn’t matter how much, even the tip of his dick counts). Technically that left groping, grinding and other such activities on the table, even blowjobs although my mom never took advantage of this rather significant “loophole”. It was the principle that mattered to her and parsing her words wasn’t an excuse to violate the intention of scripture.
So what did all this mean to me in terms of how my life would change after I was married? Not committing adultery meant NOT going out to parties and enjoying myself with whoever was available just for the fun of it. It meant I could no longer go out alone and spend an evening with a married man who was cheating on his wife for the very first time. It even meant no swapping even if the other couple were close friends. While some might consider all this as a significant and harsh sacrifice, not me. I loved Steve unconditionally and I was more than willing to submit myself fully to my new husband, regardless of the consequences and hardships it imposed.
With all those years of preparation you can imagine what a surprise it was to me when shortly after our betrothal Steve told me that he wasn’t able to put aside the sexual freedoms of being single. Less than two weeks after our incredible honeymoon he told me that we were going to swap with another couple. Wow, you can imagine what a shock that was to me! Note he didn’t ASK me… no, he TOLD me which was perfectly within his rights as my husband.
As I mentioned to some degree before, I consider Steve to be the head of our household and as such I freely submit to his authority as dictated by my Christian beliefs. PLEASE, I don’t mean in any way that being submissive means that I’m subordinate to him or otherwise giving in to his every whim. I don’t go barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen as his personal slave. Indeed, the concept of true biblical marital submission has been terribly twisted by perverted men as a means to put women “in their place” whereas the true scriptural directions promote nothing of the kind. It’s a complicated topic and I even wrote an article that’s posted in my diary about the true meaning of submission for anyone really interested in such things.
In any case, the bottom line is that Steve wanted to swap with other married couple so either I had to accept his direction or not. Knowing how much Steve loved me I suppose that if I HAD chosen to oppose him that he would’ve dealt with it but at the same time I think that would also have put a wedge into our new marriage that might never get removed.
So I had to find a way to submit to my husband yet remain true to myself and my own beliefs and ethics. After much consideration and a LOT of prayer, I came to the conclusion that if my mom could define adultery to suit her situation then why couldn’t I? Thus I revised her definition slightly by adding, “…without the consent mecidiyeköy escort of your spouse.” I mean like if Steve was OK with me having sex with other men (actually he was more than OK – he WANTED to watch me), then how can that be considered a bad thing, let alone adultery?
Essentially now that I’m married I’ve taken the stance that it’s a person’s INTENT more so than their actions that determine whether or not adultery is being committed. At its core adultery would be me cheating on my husband, not simply having sex with someone else. Cheating is a state of mind, not an action.
Now that we were married and had come to an agreement on the adultery thing, there were basically two options when it came to us having sex with other people. We could either go out on our own alone or do it together – in other words a traditional swap. Interestingly, while I enjoy swapping with other married couples I find that I prefer to spend most of the time in separate rooms rather than having something like a mini orgy. It’s sort of the best of both worlds for me in that I’m doing something in conjunction with my husband yet at the same time enjoying the intimacy of being alone with another man.
Some people talk about swapping like you just go out and start talking to another couple and bang, everyone heads for the bedroom and has glorious unrestrained sex. Yeah sure, maybe such things happen in porn movies and stories. Well, I suppose maybe that MIGHT happen in real life if you’re really lucky but in my experience nothing works quite that easily. Anyone who just goes out to a club looking to swap had better be prepared to be mugged, raped or who knows what else – even blackmailed.
Chapter 2 – Playing by the Rules
Let me make one thing perfectly clear up front – Steve and I don’t NEED to swap for our sexual fulfillment. Indeed, we’re both quite happy with the sex life we share. So if that’s the case then why bother swapping at all? Indeed, swapping is fraught with all sorts of risks – real and imagined. When we first started my biggest fear about swapping was how to meet people without making it such a huge gamble. Just as I’d never agreed to meet anyone I met in-line, I felt the same when it came to other couples and swapping. Fortunately my Aunt Linda was there to offer us help through a group to which she belonged for years where swapping was much more secure and safe. It didn’t hurt that she was a senior member as well.
After her divorce twenty-some years ago my Aunt Linda could’ve gone out on her own and played the club scene. Instead she chose to become heavily involved in a relatively small local group that enables sexual exchanges between like-minded adults. Think of it as like one of those companies that arranges for Time Share swaps. The only difficult thing, if you can call it that, is that you have to be a member and fully checked out before getting involved with anyone. Gaining membership to such an exclusive organization meant playing by the rules. This wasn’t an option – it was a firm, nonnegotiable requirement.
So how do you becoming a member of such a tight-knit community? Well, it certainly isn’t like joining Facebook. First, you can’t even ask to join – a current member has to recommend you. Then there’s the vetting process which I would think makes getting a Top Secret security clearance look easy. ONLY married couples are allowed as members and BOTH husband and wife have to participate. Once a couple is recommended (again, they MUST be married to join, NOT JUST FRIENDS) and it’s agreed that they’re potential candidate, only then does the process start…
Step 1 – Questionnaires For Each Person
As simple as this step may be, from what I hear people have dropped out the moment they see how detailed and in-depth it is, not to mention down right personal. Plus, it’s not just a bunch of multiple choice boxes but instead almost entirely composed of essay questions. The expectation is that the applicants will be forthcoming and detailed in their responses. At the top of the questionnaire is a bold-faced warning that there will be no follow-up questions or opportunities to revise your answers once submitted. EVERY question must be answered satisfactorily the first time or the applicants are rejected with no chance to reapply ever again.
Step 2 – Financial/Criminal Record Review
Next are though reviews of financial and criminal records. It’s amazing at how much information about you is available on-line to anyone willing to fork out a few dollars. Again, the idea is to make sure that they don’t have other issues which could cause them to have problems that might lead to discovery of their group activities.
Step 3 – References
Assuming the questionnaire is OK, then personal references are required. These can be anyone, even a local pastor. Nothing sexual is asked and no hint is made of the true purpose of the reference. The idea merter escort is to see if the applicants are decent citizens in the eyes of their neighbors and friends. If someone runs into problems due to other things they are involved in then that cause others to delve into other areas of their life – such as the group.
Step 4 – Interview
Provided everything to this point has cleared then a personal interview with a senior member (such as my Aunt Linda) is arranged. Everything has to go smoothly without a hitch. Like the written questions, ANY perceived attempt to hold back information is cause for immediate rejection of an application. It’s all up to the opinion of the interviewer and I know my Aunt Linda is ruthless. Even the slightest hesitation or conflicting response is enough to end the interview on the spot. It’s little wonder that less than 25% of the original applicants make it past this point.
Step 5 – The Video
It’s the security of the group that makes it so popular with its members. Sure there’s the vague hints about personal retribution, including physical harm, if anyone ever breaks their word about secrecy. Still, if the purpose is to expose the group then none of that matters. Thus one final step is required before membership is bestowed – the video. In my opinion the video is the best security device ever invented!
Theoretically even with all the barriers that had to be overcome so far, someone could still infiltrate the group if they worked hard enough beforehand to work up a good enough background story. For example, an undercover cop may have a cover story all worked out with fake references and even financial records. However, if the people trying to join ARE really undercover cops then they may talk a good game but they won’t actually DO anything, especially if it’s all recorded on video.
Step 6 – Final Review
Even if you do everything required and pass with flying colors, that still doesn’t mean you’re accepted as a member. All of the videos are kept locked away except for a final review by senior group members who look for any signs of reluctance or coercion. Shyness is to be expected but ANY sign that someone is doing something against their will is cause for rejection of their application, no matter what actually happened.
As I mentioned earlier, the theory behind the videos is that no undercover cop is going to allow themselves to be recorded having sex and the same for an undercover journalist. It’s sort of hard to publish an expose on a sex ring if you’re an active participant. So say what you want about such an exhaustive application process but apparently it’s worked. The group has been in operation for over thirty years with never a single incident or run-in with legal authorities.
Steve and I were referred by my Aunt Linda which is about as good a reference as you can get given her status and seniority within the group.
To reiterate, security is like the Star Trek “Prime Directive” when it comes to the group so swapping is still handled with care even after the vetting process until you’ve established a suitable reputation. Although not nearly as complicated and exhaustive as the initial application process, arranging a swap still has its rules that must be followed:
Step 1 – Initial Profile Search
When we want to meet with someone Steve first looks through the web site pages of “public” profiles. They are public only in the manner that everyone in the group can see them at any time. Using a customized search feature he finds another couple with the characteristics and interests we’re looking for. The public profile is pretty vague – no photos, addresses, phone numbers or anything that could be used to identify someone.
Step 2 – The Invitation
Once a potential couple if found, Steve sends them a message through the site. All this is kept within the site – no external e-mails or other potential security threats.
Step 3 – In-Depth Profiles
Provided the couple we invite agrees to move on after viewing our public profile, we then give them access to the next level of our profile which shows photos and provides an on-line secure chat window. Typically the photos are clothed although bikini shots and even sexy lingerie are encouraged. Essentially nothing that Facebook would censor. If they like what they see, then they can open their next level to us as well.
Step 4 – Contact
If we make it this far the next step is to make contact by phone or webcam. We keep one of those anonymous phones you get from Wall-Mart for such things. An option at this point is to open your profile further to allow them to see nude photos and videos of yourself to “encourage” them to meet with you. Some couple get quite revealing at this stage while others prefer to keep that in reserve until the first meeting.
Step 5 – Meet
Finally, if everything works out then you arrange a mutlukent escort time and place to meet – usually someplace public to start like a restaurant. You can have all the security in place but it still never hurts to be careful!
Typically this process takes at least a week or two, sometimes even longer depending on how busy each couple is and how long it takes for them to respond to each phase. However, it IS possible to short-circuit the process in special circumstances…
Chapter 3 – The Setup
Normally membership is a shoe-in for anyone that is truly motivated and can pass the background checks. The problem with this couple was that they’d never swapped before so they didn’t have another couple to bring in for their video. Such a situation doesn’t happen very often as most people are fairly experienced for no other reason than usually the only way they even hear about the group is from another member. Still, when it does come up occasionally there are contingency plans in place to deal with the situation without embarrassing the applicants. This usually consists of asking an existing member couple to step in and help out. Knowing me and Steve’s interest in new things and people (or at least my interest), my aunt had volunteered me and Steve to help out, even so far as making the arrangements.
“So you just told them we’d do it without even asking us first?” I asked my aunt incredulously when I heard the news. She’d stopped by over at our apartment – something she almost never does so I knew even before she said a word that it had to be something “special”.
Aunt Linda shrugged and smiled answering, “Give me a freakin’ break Kelly, it’s not like you’re exactly overly picky about who you have sex with and anyways, I thought you’d enjoy them. Besides, it’s not like you need to spend the evening with them.”
Then she looked at Steve who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat and added, “In any case I’m betting it’s over before you know it anyway – provide they even show up and go through with it. The husband is the horny one – that’s obvious. Steve, I’m telling ya, he won’t last five minutes with the wife.”
Both my husband and aunt laughed at that one and even I couldn’t help but grin. Odds were she was right. More to the point – they better be right!
“Well, so tell us more about them,” Steve asked looking quite interested now.
“Well, they were recommended by the LaCroixs – you might remember them from the Christmas party.
Steve smiled – HE certainly remembered although I can’t say she was ringing any bells yet for me.
“Ah yes… the natural redhead,” he sighed, “, I don’t think I’d ever seen such a flaming red bush before. Not much in the tit department yet but god she could suck like a vacuum cleaner!”
My aunt waved her hands, imploring him to stop and get back on track. I agreed with her but at the same time I was starting to remember her myself after Steve had described her more. I’d only gotten a glimpse of the gal when Steve was fucking her as I’d been distracted by someone else at the time. As I said, it’s not like I got a great view but now that he mentioned it I DID recall her fuzzy bright red pussy as he sank his stiff dick deep inside of it. She didn’t have to trim it yet – it was more like peach fuzz than a true bush.
“So anyway, the LaCroixs are apparently their next-door neighbors,” my aunt continued on now without further disruption, “These guys are fairly new to the ‘Burgh and I guess when Patty LaCroix tried to hint a little to see what direction they were leaning towards it didn’t sit well with Camille – especially so when she saw how her husband reacted. I guess you can’t blame him for being interested but I suppose it would’ve helped had he not been so enthusiastic from the outset.”
That drew a laugh from both Steve and I.
“Yeah, I suppose some women can’t handle their husband showing an interest in another woman,” I said, giving Steve a playful punch in the arm. At least he never had to worry about THAT with me. While it might not turn me on all that much to watch, it certainly didn’t bother me. After all, it was just sex and not like he was in love or anything. In LUST – yes but not in LOVE. THAT was reserved for ME!
For a moment I could just picture the scene where the neighbors were discussing the possibility of swapping, especially when one side of the table wasn’t doing it yet. Funny how often it’s the wife who’s against the idea. Or at least that’s what most husbands tell me and I would say 99% of the people who contact me are make (no matter what they might SAY).
“Well, they eventually grew interested,” my aunt went on, “But it was just about the concept – nothing actually happened so they sort of hinted about the group. It’s taken since last summer but eventually one thing has led to another and now they’re almost our newest members.”
At that point Aunt Linda paused and got this far away look as she sighed.
“I mentioned before about them maybe not showing up and to tell you the truth, I’m putting it as 50-50 at best. They say all the right things but there’s something about the wife’s eyes when she talks about it. Camille doesn’t seem nearly as confident about it as Keith and I’m worried that they may back out at the last minute. Frankly, I’m not sure how they got past the interview. I doubt I would have passed them.”
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