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Erica’s Sexual TransitionMy name is Erica. When I was growing up, I lived in a very strong Catholic household in rural Ohio. My family took me to church 3 times a week. I was home schooled until college and everything fun was a sin. My family was very devoted to their religion and they raised me that way. So needless to say I was always taught at an early age that Sex was something dirty and should only be had between a man and a woman while married. This upbringing made it so that when I finally did have sex it was all but enjoyable. It left me with a huge feeling of guilt, disgust, disappointment and shame. This feeling would last from the first time I was turned on up until today.My sex life mostly began when I was 17 and a freshman in college. I had times where I thought I was turned on. I would hear in movies and from the few friends I had about how they would get a tingling feeling in their vaginas and how when they saw a hot guy their nipples would get hard and their crotch would get wet. It would take over a decade before I realized that what I was feeling was more curiosity than being horny.When I went off to college that was the first time I was truly around a large group of people my age. Growing up in a small town, there were few c***dren my age and I was home schooled. I was an only c***d so I never really had much social interaction. I never had to share a room and here I was off at college with a roommate. I was on my own for the first time and loving it.My college roommate was Tara. She was a year older than me but we had a lot in common. We both came from a small town and loved country music. We had the same taste in TV and had the same major, nursing. The difference was that Tara had had boyfriends before and was currently in a relationship. I had never even been on a date up to this point. Tara’s boyfriend George was a very nice guy and he introduced me to Michael. For the first month of our relationship, Mike was a great guy to me. A couple of times he tried to take things past kissing but would respect me when I told him to stop. I told him how I was saving myself for marriage and he seemed to be understanding. As the months went on he began to push the issue even more. He would say things like, “we love each other so someday we will get married, why wait?” I decided that I would talk to Tara about it. I knew she was saving herself and was wondering how she had been with George for over a year and had not had sex yet.At this point I had known Tara for about 6 months. It was the end of winter and spring was in the air. The snow was melting and I was enjoying my freedoms at college. Life was great but it was about to change and the change would affect me for years. One day after classes, Tara and I were watching TV. I decided that I would bring up my question at that time. I asked Tara how she and George’s relationship had survived without sex for so long. Tara just stared at me. Right away my heart began to beat fast and my hands got all sweaty. I could tell from her face that something was wrong and I was worried that I crossed a line that I was not supposed to. I thought that maybe I was going to lose my best friend güvenilir canlı bahis siteleri over this question. Tara got up from her bed and then sat down next to me. She put a hand on my leg and then dropped a bomb on me. Tara had sex with George already, months ago. I could not believe it. I thought that I had a partner in the abstinence world. We both had said we were waiting. I know it was not logical at this time but I felt betrayed. I could not understand how she did this to me. I stormed out of the room and ran down the hall crying. After several minutes of sobbing to myself I began to think why I was acting this way. Looking back it was a bit of jealousy of George.It was almost a week before I could talk to Tara again. I kept avoiding her every time I knew she would be in the dorm. I would find something else to do. I would make sure that I came in late at night while she was sleeping and I woke up and left before she got up. At the end of the week, Tara caught me off guard and stayed from class to confront me. I apologized and confided in her about my dilemma with Mike. We talked for hours and after talking to her I came to the conclusion that having sex with Mike would be the best thing to do. Tara told me that sex had actually strengthened her relationship and that it felt amazing. I went to bed that night planning how Mike was going to take my virginity and I wanted it to be amazing. I could hardly get to sleep. I had visions of fireworks and euphoria. I had every vision that the movies made it out to be. The next weekend I was going to give myself to Mike.During the week I went out and bought new underwear. Every detail had to be perfect. I purchased a silky blue dress and black lacy thong panties and a matching bra. I had never worn anything like this before. Modesty, I was taught, was the way to be. Now was not the time for modesty. I wanted to rock Mike’s world and mine. I told Mike that he was going to take me out dinner and Tara arranged to spend the night with her boyfriend so I would have the room all to myself.The week dragged on but finally my last class of the week ended and I virtually ran back to my room to get ready. I took a shower and toyed with the idea of shaving my pubic hair. Tara had told me how George liked it bald and Mike had mentioned he just didn’t like bushy. I was too scared of cutting myself and could not imagine why a guy would even care. So I trimmed it with a pair of scissors and used my razor to shave it just above my vagina and my bikini area. I then slid on the thong and was surprised that I could not feel them. I always wondered how girls could wear them and be comfortable with a permanent wedgy. With my crotch freshly shaved it was extra sensitive. I fastened the bra and slid into my dress. After 30 minutes of messing with my hair and another 20 minutes applying makeup, I was ready to go. I grabbed my hand bag and stepped into my 5 inch heels. I looked in the mirror and Damn I looked good. It was now 6PM and Mike was due to meet me. I had no idea what his plans were but told him that I wanted it to be special and that I would leave the rest to him. 20 minutes later mobilbahis he finally arrived. When I opened the door I was somewhat disappointed to see him wearing a polo shirt and jeans. I told him that he had to look nice. This was so far not my idea of nice. I quickly forgot about that when I saw his face. His jaw literally dropped and hit the floor. It felt like minutes that he just stood there like an idiot staring at me. Finally he stammered, “damn you are pretty.” He then took my arm and led me out the door.He wouldn’t tell me where we were going until we got there. I was seriously disappointed to see Applebee’s out the window. So far this evening was becoming a disaster. I focused on the fun that we were going to have later. After all, this night was about me losing my virginity and giving myself to him. I could not blame Mike for this because he did not know that I was going to have sex with him tonight. I ate my dinner over small talk and could not wait for it to be over. After we were done eating I told Mike that I wanted to go back to my dorm and just watch TV with him. He paid the bill, gave me a sweet kiss and escorted me out to the car. On the drive back he placed a hand on my thigh and gently massaged it. It felt so good. When we got back to the dorm, Mike sat down on the futon in the room and looked for the remote. I wasted no time. I grabbed a condom that I had left in the drawer next to the door. I unstrapped my heels, walked up to him and flipped the condom to him. He looked down at it then up at me with a look of disbelief on his face. I straddled him and began to kiss him. I could feel his penis harden. He soon began to run his hands up legs and grab my ass. He squeezed my cheeks and oddly ran finger in my crack. I stopped him before he stuck it into my ass. I got off of him and took my dress off. I let his eyes wonder over my body. It was the first time that anyone had seen me with just my underwear on and in a few minutes it would be the first time anyone saw me naked. He took off his shirt and pants in record time and hopped into the bed. I got into bed with him and he pulled off boxers and laid there with his penis rock hard and his hands behind his head. I was confused. Why was he not touching me? Why was he just laying there with this dumb smile on his face and hands behind his head? Finally he asked, “aren’t you going to suck it?” I asked what it was I was going to suck. He asked me if I was going to give him head and I had no idea what that meant. I felt stupid asking. I heard of the term before but never asked what it meant. You have to keep in mind that I grew up secluded. He explained to me that it was sucking on his penis. I was totally put off by this. I told him that I did not want to put it in my mouth and he said okay. He then grabbed me and flipped me onto my back. He started to kiss me. He then began to kiss down my neck and chest. The bra was a front clip and he almost ripped it off of me. He took a nipple into his mouth and with the other one; he rolled it between his fingers. Holy crap it felt so good. It sent electric currents through my body and made my vagina tingle. güvenilir bahis siteleri He then moved down to my crotch and pulled my panties to the side. He then started to lick me and it felt odd. After a few moments I asked him stop. It just didn’t feel right. I asked him if we could just have sex now.He unrolled the condom over his penis and then positioned himself on top of me. He ran a finger over my vagina a couple times and mentioned how dry I felt. He asked if I had lube and I told him that I didn’t. He then put his mouth near my vagina and then spit on it. It felt so gross. He then took the head of his penis and started to spread the spit around. Then he pressed the head of his cock into me. I screamed, lost my breath, and saw red all at once. The pain shot through me. I grabbed onto the sheets and begged him to pull out. He said he was barely in me. I looked down to see that the head was just separating my lips and was not even in me yet.He asked me if I was ready and I shook my head yes. Over the next 20 minutes I fought back the pain as he slowly slid is 5inches into me. The first time he pulled back I looked down and saw that his penis had blood on it. I asked him if he was okay and Mike said the blood was from me. I had heard of bleeding but I figured it would be just a small spot or two, not enough to cover his penis.He asked if I wanted to continue and I said yes. I had heard that it would hurt at first but would get better. I wanted to feel how good it was so I told him to continue. He thrust in and out of me for another two minutes and I felt no pleasure. All I felt was a ripping pain and a hollow feeling in my chest. Mike must have sensed my discomfort because he then asked if I wanted to try another position. I shook my head yes and he told me to lay on my stomach and spread my legs. I did as told and I felt him enter me again. He then continued to fuck me only harder and faster this time. I just laid there this time until he was done. I was glad that I could not see his face and he see mine. After a few minutes I felt him stiffen and heard him grown. He then pulled out of me and rolled onto his back next to me.After a few minutes of him breathing heavy he asked if I came and I told him that I didn’t think I had. He said I probably didn’t but that it was okay, most girls don’t their first time. He then took off the condom, tossed it in the trash, wiped his penis with a Kleenex and started to get dressed. I asked him if he was going to stay with me tonight and he told me that he had to go. He had to do something with his family in the morning and had to get to bed. He kissed me good bye, told me he loved me and that he had a great time. He walked out the door and left me.I laid there for a second. My vagina was burning and still bleeding. The smell of the condom and sex hung in the air. I broke down into tears and cried myself to sleep. The next morning it hurt to walk and there was a small blood stain on the sheet. From that moment on, sex was ruined for me. Mike and I had sex numerous times after. The bleeding and pain eventually stopped but I never gained any pleasure from it. I faked my orgasms and acted like I enjoyed it because I loved him and did not want to disappoint him. We stayed together for another month and I figured that sex was bad for me because Mike was bad for me. I figured it was just because I had not found the right guy for me. That was until I met Steve! To be Continued….
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