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Ratboy And Butterface

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There were two regulars at the Oasis Municipal Leisure Pool who rivalled me in the size stakes.

Bear was perhaps the gayest man in a changing room full of gay men. Barrel-chested, big-bellied, broad-shouldered, fleeced with thick dark hair. Both his nipples were pierced and his meaty cock never seemed to drop below a 45 degree angle, like it was permanently flushed with blood and always on the prowl.

Ratboy, on the other hand, was clearly straight and basically a homophobe. Despite his feral appearance and council estate chic, he’d let his genetic inheritance go to his head. His long, lanky dick bounced off his weedy thighs as he strutted around like he owned the place. In flagrant disregard for all shower etiquette he helicoptered his cock as he washed himself.

Yeah, I look at other blokes’ dicks, what of it? Game recognise game.

Anyway, I was lying by the pool getting some sun one day when Ratboy came over. The weird thing about Ratboy was that he wore these vile Bermuda shorts that went down to his knees when the only reason to go to an outdoor pool in England was to pose. Some of the gay guys basically wore tissuepaper thin white thongs but everyone dressed to impress. My own considerable budgie – or perhaps tropical parrot was more accurate – was being smuggled in a way that wouldn’t have fooled the laziest customs official and drew glances from men and women. Ratboy might have paraded his six inches of dangling dick around the changing room but out here he looked like a twelve year old.

“Ere, mate, do us a favour?”

If he’d approached me on the street, I’d have assumed this was a prelude to asking for a pound.


“So I’ve got this bird, right?”

“Right?” Jesus, was this conversation going to be comprised entirely of questions.

“And she’s done me this deal. She’s a proper little slapper. Says she’ll only let me do her up the arse if it’s a threesome.”

Well, I hadn’t seen that one coming. Fair play to Ratboy, it took balls to make that pitch in a public place to basically a complete stranger.

“Interesting,” I mused. “Why me?”

“Like I said, she’s a slapper. Proper little size queen, knowworimean?” He grabbed his crotch for emphasis just in case I was as mentally retarded as he was. “She said I had to get someone decent and it couldn’t be any of my mates. I told her you was almost as big as me and her eyes fucking lit up.”

Almost? The cheeky little sod! I had him beat and then some.

“So you up for a spitroast or what? I get the arse, obviously.”


“Maybe,” I said, scratching my chin. I mean, yeah, I was up for it but I wanted to check out the goods first. “Is she here?”

“‘Ere, Stace,” he suddenly shouted, causing the whole place to look round at the lout who was killing the vibe. “Come over here.”

A girl in a neon blue bikini started to walk over from the loungers. I gave her the once over as she came towards us.

She couldn’t have been more than five foot which made the lean legs running up from her sexy little feet all the more impressive. They were smooth and shapely with muscle and curves in perfect proportion. Despite her total lack of pigment, they terminated in a plump little black girl’s arse. Above her tiny bikini bottom was a trim tummy I wanted to run my tongue over and then an equally tiny bikini top containing a ludicrously perky pair of tits which jutted out proudly from her petite body.

And then I got to her face.

It was basically triangular. Her sharp chin swept up to a bulging forehead accentuated by hair scraped back into a Croydon facelift ponytail. Beady eyes capped by ludicrous drawn-on eyebrows. Flaring nostrils above a sour mouth full of crooked teeth.

Yeah, body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch. Or, as our American cousins more succinctly put it, a butterface.

Ah well, you can’t have everything. I’d enjoy fucking that tight little body even if I had to put a bag over her head.

“This is the guy I told you about,” said Ratboy by way of introduction.

“Yeah? You got a big cock then?” Butterface asked, hands on hips and staring at my junk.

Honestly, the youth of today.

“Yeah, I’ve got a big cock. Biggest you’ve ever had,” I added, making Ratboy scowl.

“Alright then. Let’s do it. I’ll go and get my stuff.” And she turned on her heel

“What, now?” I asked, taken aback by the speed of things. I’d gone from relaxing in the sun to being procured for a threesome in less than five minutes. Still, probably not the first time for this place.

“No time like the fuckin’ present,” said Ratboy, rubbing his hands together with glee.


It turned out that Ratboy lived in one of the Corporation of London estates that ringed the Oasis. In private hands the flat would have been half a million quid, minimum, but they were still mostly council tenants. So it was less than ten minutes after leaving the changing room that he pushed through his front door and the two of adıyaman seks hikayeleri us followed.

Ratboy went to a fridge, got out two cans of Fosters and offered one to me. Usually I’d never drink that piss – not to mention it was 11 am – but he was letting me fuck his bird so it would have been churlish to decline. I cracked it open and clinked cans.

“I’ll get my own fucking drink, shall I?” said Butterface.

“I don’t know how you are going to fucking drink it while your mouth is full of cock, you dozy cow. Why don’t you do something useful and get naked.”

I thought Butterface was going to go ballistic but she just called him a prick under her breath and started to strip. Far be it from me to judge anyone’s relationship…

Ratboy wasn’t wasting any time either and had soon jettisoned the horrendous tracksuit he was wearing. He clearly hadn’t put on any underwear after leaving the pool so he was standing naked in front of me in the middle of his grubby kitchen in seconds.

“Shall we?” he asked, slapping Butterface on the arse and then propelling her towards the bedroom with his hand on her lower back. I admired the jiggle of her fleshy backside, took a swig of lager and followed them.

Bloody hell, he really didn’t waste any time. By the time I had entered the room, Butterface was already on her hands and knees on a grim looking sofa and Ratboy had commenced foreplay. This consisted of squirting lube onto two fingers and then sawing them in and out of her cunt with a wet farting noise.

“Are you joining in or what?” he asked, wanking himself off with his other hand.

Again, it would have been churlish to refuse. I set the can down on a rickety shelf and started to get undressed. Since I subscribe to a little thing called style, it took me considerably longer than Ratboy. By the time I was naked, Butterface was panting like a dog and Ratboy was fully erect. He’d put on an inch or so in length but nothing in girth and his dick waggled vertically in front him like a leek. Continuing to waste no time, he plunged into Butterface as I stepped in front of her.

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t the most erotic tableaux I’d ever witnessed. I’d had a few threesomes before but usually the other parties were more attractive and personable and I’d known them for more than a quarter of an hour. Not to mention the general ambience. In this fetid flat, if I looked forward, I was staring straight into Ratboy’s gurning face as he huffed and puffed while banging away hammer and tongs. If I looked down, it was at Butterface’s boss-eyed horrorshow of a visage. None of this was helped by the fact the mood lighting consisted of a single bare bulb. I was still totally soft and starting to worry I might stay that way. Luckily Butterface helped progress things.

“Fucking hell, you’re massive,” she grunted.

It came out in a staccato stutter as Ratboy slammed away at her from the back. Still, always a good ego boost and I started to plump up.

“Well, don’t just stare at it. See how big you can make it.”

She reached up to grab my cock, wobbling a bit due to her boyfriend’s vigorous ploughing. She wrapped her fingers round it, her hand not able to close even though I was only three quarters hard; I could tell by the way her eyes widened that she was slightly overwhelmed by how much cock she was holding. She started to stroke me but almost capsized off the sofa so quickly stuffed me in her mouth.

Or tried, at least.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a massive fan of blowjobs. I mean, I wouldn’t say no, but I could count on the finger of one hand the good blowjobs I’d had. One of the downsides of having a monster cock; I’m sure you can sympathise. Occasionally I’d met a proper size queen who took my dick as a challenge and really went to town. The number who had conquered that challenge was even smaller and it was usually a one time thing. Why climb Everest twice when you’d only narrowly survived oxygen deprivation the first time round?

So oral sex for me was really only worthwhile for the aesthetic pleasure of watching a beautiful woman’s face distended around my hog. Butterface’s mouth was definitely distended but it made her look disabled.

“You don’t have to be gentle with her, mate,” advised Ratboy. “She’s used to dealing with me. She could suck a golfball through a hose.”

But could she suck a tennis ball through a Pringles tube?

I stuck one hand on the back of her head and reached down to grab a swaying tit with the other. They really were exceptional, I reflected, as I roughly kneaded her firm titmeat whilst probing her throat in earnest. I hadn’t got more than a third of my cock in her mouth but the saliva starting to soak my pubes confirmed that she was definitely beginning to earn her keep.

“Watch out, mate, I’m switching holes. Careful she don’t bite your dick off.”

Sweet of him to care but his girlfriend couldn’t have closed her mouth even if she’d tried. My dick was so fat it was practically dislocating her jaw.

He pulled open her arse with one hand, grabbed the base of his cock with the other and just stabbed forward.

“Gruhmph!” said Butterface, her throat vibrating around my tightly stuffed dick. Maybe there are some positives to a spitroast.

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” said Ratboy, lancing into her guts.

His long, thin cock had come into its own. Once the head was in, six inches followed right behind. Having penetrated her puckered arsheole there was seemingly no resistance. None of that patiently working an inch in at a time business that I so often had to go through.

Which suited Ratboy just fine. Ratboy was like one of those guys who passes his driving test and immediately crashes his car showing off. He had no intention of taking his girlfriend’s virgin sphincter for a careful spin; he was going to thrash it senseless till he ended up in a ditch. He was using her arsehole like he’d used her cunt. With inevitable results.

It couldn’t have been more than a minute before Ratboy made a sound like he’d just managed to pass an enormous bowel movement as (ironically enough) he came deep in the bowels of his little slag of a girlfriend.

Ratboy unceremoniously pulled out with a mightly slap across her arse and a muttered, “Fucking hell.” He staggered backwards, his lanky, slimy cock pinballing against his thighs and started rooting in a drawer. Having found the bag of baccy he was searching for, he slumped into a stained armchair and started to build a joint.

As an afterthought, he said, “Why don’t you give her arse a go? She won’t mind.”

I had been about to flip her onto her back, fuck her senseless and then get the hell out of there. But it was a tempting offer. Embarrassingly enough, I’d never earnt my brown wings. Multiple women had let me put my fingers, tongue and toys in their bumholes but always drawn the line at my forearm-sized fuckpipe. I looked down at Butterface’s beady little eyes. It was hard to tell her opinion on the matter, beyond the fervent desire that I unwedge said forearm-sized fuckpipe from her oesophagus.

I acquiesced, my dick sliding out, sodden with her saliva. Ratboy had never seen me hard so I let it dangle in the air for a bit so he could get a good look. I saw his fingers pause for a second in their task as he clocked the nine inches of cock in front of him.

“You up for that?” I asked Butterface.

“If you want.” Her tone was sullen but compliant. Evidently anal with Ratboy hadn’t been much of a challenge.

“Then suck my balls first, you little slut.”

She immediately did. Ratboy had somehow stumbled on a true submissive.

As she slurped away on my nuts, I stroked my cock, holding it upright so Ratboy could see how comprehensively outclassed he was. I reached for a condom from my wallet and made a performance of gloving up. The condom was the biggest on the market but it was still snug, although perhaps not as tight as I was pretending.

“You don’t need to bother with that rubbish,” Ratboy chipped in. “She’s clean.”

I ignored him. She might have been disease-free – though that was highly questionable – but she certainly wasn’t clean, not with chav spunk currently oozing out of her arsehole.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick with this, thanks,” I said, releasing the condom with a snap and letting my monster cock bob there. Butterface couldn’t tear her eyes away but her face was 50% lust, 50% trepidation. Time to get down to business.

“Okay, spin round and pull your arse apart.”

“What the fuck? I thought you’d start with my pussy,” she said, her little goblin face all pouty.

Why would I waste time with her pussy? “Do you want this dick or not?”

“Fine. But you better use lube.”

“Of course I’m using lube.” I’d be on trial for murder otherwise.

I slathered the lube all over my dick, letting Ratboy get a good look, while Butterface obediently spun round and stuck her worldclass arse up in the air. Ratboy had soiled the view but it was still a knockout. Okay, less so as she grabbed her bumchecks and pulled them apart. Her bunghole twitched and more jizz oozed out. But it still looked alarmingly tight.

Alarming for her, that was.

I lined up my rubber-skinned bellend with her butt. Ratboy had been no help at all. Apart from the salty mess he’d made, her ringpiece had snapped back into shape after his skinny dick had finished reaming her. I pushed. Nothing. I might as well have lined up my cock with her bellybutton. I pushed harder and she grunted. I pushed harder still and felt a hint of resistance. Progress! I pushed with all my might and with a slow but inevitable gravity I breached her anus before it clamped down like a vice around my corona.

“More lube!”

Now, lube is amazing stuff but it’s not magic and the circumference of my cock was about the same as one of her skinny ankles. Despite the physical mismatch, however, my cock was winning and her arsehole was losing. But I could have done without the earache; each incremental advance was accompanied by whinging request to go slower.

“Haven’t you got something you can stick in her mouth?” I called over to Ratboy.

“Finishing this, innit,” Ratboy said, holding up the joint. His sulky voice suggested this was an excuse for the fact he couldn’t get it up again.

“Give me some of that, you bastard,” Butterface yelped as I bore down harder.

Grumbling, Ratboy got up, dick flapping, and knelt down in front of his girlfriend. Instead of holding it out to her, he reversed it and stuck it in his own mouth. Then he covered her lips and gave her a blowback.

Butterface huffed in a huge cloud and as soon as the smoke hit her lungs, the effect was instantaneous. First, she started choking. Second, her sphincter relaxed and I speared forward a couple of inches into her guts. Third, she collapsed face first onto the arm of the sofa as she tried to scream while also still coughing.

Well, that hadn’t been what I’d intended when I’d asked him to stick something in her mouth but it did the job.

My dick was now half way in and that was more than half the battle; now I was firmly lodged in her guts, I could dig for victory. I wrapped her slightly greasy ponytail round my fist and pulled her head back, making her curl her back like a Quaver. She was still coughing and disorientated but I didn’t give her any time to recover as I squatted above that plump bubble butt and plunged down into her.

This was definitely more aesthetically appealing. Phat arse, tiny waist, no face. The feeling was sublime and Butterface had regained enough control of her lungs to emit a highly pleasing variety of contorted grunts and variations of the word ‘fuck’. The only problem was Ratboy hanging around like a bad smell.

“Are you in or out?” I asked as he stood their gormlessly with the spliff in one hand and his dick in the other.

He muttered something unintelligible and retreated to the battered armchair. Which was perfect for me. I didn’t want him so close but I loved an audience.

I’ll admit that I’m a cocky bastard. It’s what comes from having a bastard and a half of a cock. If you met me, you’d probably think I was arrogant and a bit of a show off. And you’d be right.

I’d already won on one level. I was fucking this guy’s girlfriend in front of him and she was squealing like a stuck pig on the biggest cock she’d ever had. But I wanted to make my victory total.

I stood from my crouch, keeping a firm grip on her hair so that she hurriedly followed. One foot down on the floor, other arm under here, just needed to… Christ, I almost dropped her. But no, no, I’d managed it; I’d hoisted her into the air without slipping out. Benefits of a freakishly long dick. Now, her legs were spread 180 degrees so that her neglected gash was pointing at Ratboy and I was carrying half her weight in my arms and half on my cock.

I basically threw her up in the air, dragging her sphincter inside out on my shaft, before gravity kicked in and she thudded back down. She howled as the total lack of resistance meant she was split wider. It wasn’t elegant but it was certainly effective. So effective that I was starting to seriously worry the neighbours would call the police.

Bloody hell, this was tiring. She wasn’t big and I wasn’t small but this was definitely stunt sex that you only did for show. Thankfully, Butterface was finding it taxing too. In an effort to secure release she was scrubbing away at her clit like an orbital sander. Between my relentless assault on the back and hers on the front, she managed to tip herself over the edge. A torrent of expletives poured from her mouth as her legs went into spasm.

I took the opportunity to collapse backwards onto the sofa, still firmly lodged inside Butterface and have a quick breather.

“Did you finish? Can I swap back in?” Talk about pathetic. Ratboy was pleading to fuck his own girlfriend. His joint was finished and his dick was hard but I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I’d given him his threesome but now it was my time.

“Nah,” I said, taking a swig of Fosters first to make sure I didn’t sound out of breath. “Just changing position.”

And with that I lifted my arms up higher, locking both them and Butterface’s legs behind her head.

“Ere, I thought you was done!” she yelped, jolted out of her post-orgasmic stupour.

Seriously? Baby, you got yours, now its time to get mine. I gripped my hands together, completing the full nelson, completely entrapping my fucked out fuckmate.

“Just hang in there and I’ll be finished soon. Who knows? You might even come again, you little slut.”

She started to reply but was cut short as I lunged up into her. Oh yeah, this was the shit! Every bit as brutal and humilating as fucking her standing but without any risk of doing my back in. I fucked her like a ragdoll while she hung on for dear life until I felt the tickle in my balls start to build. No need to end the fun and games now though, eh?

I slowed then stopped then canted her hips up so I slid out entirely.

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