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I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock. Turning it off, the thoughts of what transpired last night flooded through my head. I headed to the bathroom like usually, and got ready for school. Walking into the Kitchen; I saw mom in her work attire. She was sitting at the table drinking coffee, while reading the daily newspaper. “Hi, Mom.” I said greeting her as I walked to the counter to pour myself a cup of my own, after making my cup I sat across from her. “Hi, Honey” she replied in a slightly fatigued voice. Looking at her I noticed she cut her hair. It was no longer curly, and she had straightened it out, her hair only reached down to her jawline. It definitely brought out her face, and the soft blush on her cheeks. Although to be perfectly honest, I still preferred her long curly hair. Noticing my gaze, she looked up at me.
“I’d appreciate if you didn’t star at me like that,” she said flatly.
“Sorry, it’s just that you rarely ever cut your hair short like that. It’s different, anyways are you alright? You sound tired.”
“To be truthful, I am a bit tired and as for your first statement; I felt it was time for a change,” she looked at me with a depressed smile.
“Well it looks good. I feel it really brings out the blush on your cheeks.”
Mom didn’t reply to my compliment, she simply kept reading the newspaper. Normally mom would find something interesting in the paper and talk to me about it.
She was acting really distant, and callous. Mom was never unapproachable like this before. Even when she got mad at me, we could talk. But at the moment it felt like she was trying to close herself off. Not knowing how to ease my way into what happened last night I decided to just bring it up.
“I’m sorry if I did anything to offend or hurt you last night, Mom. I don’t want what happened last night, to have a negative impact on our relationship. I was thinking, maybe we could talk later about what happened yesterday.” Mom looked at me solemnly. Sighing, she put the newspaper down.
“Locke, I’m going to stay out a little late after work tonight. Me and a couple of friends are going to hang out at the bar.” She took a brief pause before continuing. “So you don’t have to wait up for me.”
“I assume only for drinks?”
“It’s none of your business what were hanging out for,” she snapped.
“Mom, listen, please don’t do this I begged. We need to talk about what happened. Don’t try to run away” I pleaded. “Don’t treat me like a stranger.”
The room fell silent again. She stared at me, with what I could assume was frustration, and resentment. I never felt so broken before; it’s as if she didn’t trust me anymore. After taking a deep breath, mom looked at me sympathetically.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of snapped at you like that. This isn’t your fault,” she said meekly.
I was hurt, she was avoiding me, and any attempts to find out how she felt, would just cause her to pull further away.
“This is what you’re gonna do, huh?” I said holding back my tears.
She didn’t reply, she just gazed at the floor. The pint up sadness I was holding in started to turn into frustration, and anger.
“You know, Mom, I just wanted to help comfort you. I never planned for it to turn out like this. If only I hadn’t been born, you would of been a lot happier, right? I mean I am the reason why Dad’s dead. I can only imagine the pain that you go through when you see me everyday. Despite that you were always loving, so caring, so.. beautiful. That night when I overheard you talking with Grandma. I made a promise to myself to try and do whatever I could to help relieve your stress. I became more independent and responsible, so you didn’t have to worry as much about me anymore, not to mention I wanted to help you financially,” I took a deep breath then continued. “Yesterday was probably the most happiest day of my life. I mean putting that reunion back together for my birthday was amazing, and that night when you kissed me – that really meant a lot to me. You don’t realize how much you mean to me.”
Mom looked me in the eyes for the first time this morning. Her body was trembling as if trying to hold her emotions inside.
“I-Is that how you really feel, Locke?”
“I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world, Mom.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said shaking her head from side to side. “But I can’t allow myself to reciprocate your feelings.”
I sighed running my fingers through my hair. Gazing at the clock I noticed it was almost time to leave. “I have to go, do what you want.” As I turned around and left the table I heard faint sobs as mom began crying.
The trip to school was horrible. I was already mentally exhausted from this morning, and I didn’t exactly sleep well yesterday either. I couldn’t help but dread on what had happened this morning.
At noon, I headed outside to eat lunch on campus. Along the way I met my friends Ed and Rick. Ed is 5’8, he has blonde hair, and green eyes, he isn’t toned as he doesn’t work out often. He’s your typical egotistical, beylikdüzü escort asshole that chases after any “cute” girl, in a skirt or pair of jeans. He also a self-proclaimed “Chick Magnet”, even though he does all the chasing. Despite his shortcoming, he’s a nice guy who always has your back, he helps out in the few things he can actually do correctly, and has a tendency to be honest.
And then there’s Rick, who’s 5’9, he’s pretty much Prince Charming. His jet black hair, along with his icy blue eyes gives him a calm, cool demeanor. His smooth voice along with his dashing personality easily attracts the girls. He’s very likable, and open minded; the only bad thing is that he’s sort of a ‘Middle Man’
“Yo, what’s up dick wad. Sorry we couldn’t make it to your birthday. Here I got ya something,” he said smirking as he threw me a pack of condoms. “Not like your really gonna be using them though, huh?!” he joked.
Sighing, I threw them back at him.
“Aww, come on, Ed, do you have to be a dick all the time” Rick said with disapproval. “You look down buddy, what wrong?”
“Let’s just find somewhere to sit first. It’s a long story.” We sat on a bench outside on campus. Rick and Ed grabbed sandwiches from their book bags, and began eating, I didn’t buy any lunch as I really didn’t have much of an appetite.
“What, you didn’t bring anything to eat?” asked Rick.
“Nope, I’m not really hungry.”
“Sooooo, are you gonna act like a pussy the whole lunch break, or are you gonna tell us what’s ramming you up your ass?” Ed said.
“No pressure, Locke. But it’s good to talk about things with friends, ya know?” Rick agreed.
“I guess, fine I’ll tell you guys. So there’s this girl.”
“Holy shit, my man is finally scoring with a chick?!” Ed interrupted. “Dude what does she look like, does she go to this school, is she into gang bangs?!”
“Ignore him,” Rick said “Anyways, what happened looks like it didn’t go to well.”
I had to be very cautious with the amount of details I gave them. Ed wasn’t too good at connecting the dots; but Rick was always quite perceptive.
“Her name is Claire, no, she doesn’t go to school she’s a administrative secretary. Honestly, she the light of my life, everything from her dark auburn hair to her sparkling blue eyes; not to mention her soft creamy white feet. She’s been there for me a lot. She’s helped me through some problems that I’ve had in the past.”
“Sounds like a special girl,” Rick added.
I nodded, “Yeah, yeah she is. But we aren’t going out, we’re just friends.”
“Woah woah woah, what?! No, Locke, you don’t befriend chicks bro! You just slam and scram, come on, I told you this before. There’s no need for the extra emotional baggage!” Ed said trying to scold me.
“See Ed, this is why you don’t get anyone but bimbos and whores. Come on man I know Cindy broke your heart, but you need to get over her it’s been three years dude. Open yourself up to connect with a person, if you don’t you’ll just end up sad and lonely in the end man.” Rick chided.
“Don’t give me that philosophical bull shit, Cunt Muncher. She was a tramp; nothing but a whore.” Ed retorted, taking a huge bite of his sandwich.
“Um, yeah maybe we can talk more about this later.” I said
“Oh no, sorry man, continue please.” Rick urged.
“Well, you see I kinda of told her how I felt about her, and she told me she couldn’t return my feelings. I just wanted to comfort her. I thought I could keep my feelings for her locked away, but I guess in the end I screwed up. “Sh-She..” I was starting to get emotional, covering my face with my hands I continued. “She implied that she’s gonna fuck some random guy, at some bar tonight.”
Rick and Ed didn’t try to console me as I sobbed. Eventually I calmed down. “Sorry Guys that was pretty pathetic, I know.”
“No, it’s not; nothing hurts more then getting your heart broken,” Rick said.
“We’re gonna get you laid. Let’s go out tonight and party,” Ed declared.
“Normally I would disagree with Ed. But that doesn’t sound like a half-bad idea actually,” said Rick nodding his head in approval.
“Listen, Locke, you should consider what Ed’s saying. I know you aren’t too big on dating in general. But you might just find a girl that just as compatible for you as Claire was.”
I didn’t want to even entertain the thought of falling for someone other than mom, but I wasn’t up for being harassed by Ed, so I agreed.
“Fine, but not today. I’m just not up to it. Maybe this weekend?”
“We’ll be holding you to it, Pussy-willow,” Ed said pointing his finger at me.
“Yeah, we’ll have lots of fun. Keep us posted on what happens with Claire though, alright?” Rick added
I simply nodded. The rest of the break went okay. I was able to take my mind off mom, hearing about Ed’s ridiculous sexual escapades. My mood had drastically improved after lunch, making the rest of the school day tolerable. The fellas convinced me to go with them to a gaming arcade beylikdüzü eve gelen escort after school. I agreed, since it wasn’t like there was any reason to really rush home anyways.
When I got home, I saw mom sitting on the couch in the living room. She was wearing a seductive red and black nightie, that had frills on the ends. Noticing my presence she smiled, before running up to me, pressing her lips against mine. She leaned on me, pushing me up against the wall, as she wrapped her arms around my hips. It was evident she had been drinking; her breath smelled of alcohol, and her lips tasted of margarita.
Her lips were so silk smooth. I timidly kissed back before regaining my sense. Gently pushing her away I questioned her.
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t do it,” She laughed “I’ve been thinking about what you said all day, honey. I tried so hard”, she giggled. After composing her self she continued. “I actually met this guy at the bar, he was kind and sincere. One thing led to another and I ended up at his place. We ended up necking, but I just kept thinking of you. Sooo, I bailed. Honestly it was pretty funny, he was soooo horny, you wouldn’t believe it. He begged me to at least jerk him off. Buttt noppee I told him that I couldn’t, because I was thinking of someone else.”
Mom grabbed one of my hands and pressed it against her chest; she wasn’t wearing a bra, her heartbeat was quick, along with the fact that her breathing was a bit heavier than normal. “Soooo, I thought about what a total, and complete bitch I was this morning. Ignoring you, and hardly considering your feelings. I thought to myself what would be the best way to apologize to my dashing, handsome son~ After drinking a bit the answer became clear as day. I would fuck him.” mom said putting emphasis on the word “Fuck”. “I mean that is what all guys want, right?” she asked winking seductively.
I was appalled, mom was past just “drunk”; she was fucking hammered. Pulling my hand away I tried to rationalize with her. “Mom, I can’t do this, it’s not right. Not whi-” cutting me off she brought her lips to mine again, her tongue darting into my mouth. Her tongue trailing from the side of my cheek to the roof of my mouth.
After inspecting the inside of my oral cavity, she began sucking on my tongue. She moved her hand down to my pants tracing the length of my dick up and down through my jeans with her fingertips.
My cock started to harden, the stimulation was amazing, my sanity was starting to fade. She removed her lips and tongue from mine, leaving a glistening stream of saliva that fell down her chin. My breathing was labored as well now. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest.
“Oh my. You’ve grown quite a bit haven’t you?” she cooed, giving me a seductive smile. Mom pressed her palm against the head of my throbbing hard cock. ” It must hurt being concealed in these tight jeans. Let Mommy fix that.” The stimulation stopped as she began unzipping my jeans. Using this last opportunity to stop myself from giving in to my primal urges, I grabbed her wrists.
“We’re not doing this.”
She looked at me; the melancholy apparent in her eyes. “Lockey..” she said meekly.
I couldn’t stand to see her like that. I let go of her wrists. Mom had never looked more depressed, at least not since dad first died.
“I was wrong honey. I’m so sorry; I never meant to hurt you. It’s lonely, you know? The truth is I’ve wanted you for a while now.” She guided my index finger to her erect nipple. Do you feel that, Locke. I’m horny for you she whispered with a slur. ” Tears were streaming down her face as she confide in me.
Pulling my hand away I said, “Mom, this isn’t right. You’re obviously past drunk.”
“You, love me though right?”
“Of course I do Mom.”
“And you find me attractive, right?”
“More than anyone else… But you’re drunk if we do this I want our first time to be special. Besides, I highly doubt you’ll remember too much tonight.” I said chuckling a little.
“I guess your right..” she said pouting.
“Awww, you’re so cute. I said kissing her forehead.”
The sexual tension in the air faded away, I was filled with relief as my mind started functioning as a human being again. Although I was still hard as a rock; I no longer had the urge to jump her bones. Although she probably still had the urge to jump mine.
“Don’t call me cute. I was trying to be all sexyyy-likeee, and seduce yew,” she sighed. “I wanted coitus…”
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I had never heard the word coitus used in context like that before.
“D-Did you really just say coitus, Mom?!!”
“It’s not funny,” she whined. “I can’t believe yew, rejecting a sexually frustrated drunk woman. You’re a jeerkk, you know thatt.” she slurred poking my chest.
“Well, sorry I don’t wanna take advantage of my insatiable, drunk, Mother. Let’s go, Mom.”
She gave me a look of confusion before I lifted her into my beylikdüzü masöz escort arms.
“I can get to bed on my ownnn, thank you very much.” she said.
“Uhh, I’d rather be safe then sorry, Ma.”
“You know, I’m not wearing any panties.” she cooed, as I carried her up the steps.
“What happened to getting to bed on your own? Besides, you killed any carnal urges I had when you said coitus.”
“You’re unbelievable…” she huffed
After putting mom to bed I sat on the couch in the living room to see what she had been watching.
On the screen was a title of a porn flick called “Busty MILFs and Young Studs.” Shaking my head I turned the TV off, before heading to bed.
I got up early that morning. After recalling, what happened last night; I came to the conclusion that looking after mom was the most reasonable course of action. I decided to call in, taking the day off from work. After a quick shower I went into the kitchen and prepared breakfast. It’s amazing how good food tastes when your starving. Finishing up my plate, I fixed a plate for mom and went to her room.
I received no response so I cautiously opened the door. She was still sleeping, silently I walked over and placed the plate of ham, with scrambled eggs and toast on her table. Mom apparently must of subconsciously sensed my presence, as she slowly sat up from bed. It looked like she had a rough sleep, her hair in disarray.
“Locke, what time is it?” she mumbled rubbing the sleep from her eyes.”
“It’s 7:30. How are you feeling?”
Running her fingers through her hair, Mom, tried straightening it out. “Besides the headache, humiliated, disappointed, lost, flabbergasted, and like less of a mother.
“You, remember what happened last night?”
“Bits and pieces,” she replied.
I had clearly underestimated her; the hangover didn’t seem that bad. Mom must of had a higher tolerance than I initially gave her credit for. I wanted to ask her for details regarding how much she remembered, but decided against it.
“Well, I made you breakfast. I stated coyly.
“Thanks sweetie,” she smiled. “You’re not going to work today?”
“I assumed you were going to have a major hangover; so I was just going to help look after you, and clean up the house a bit.”
There was obvious tension in the air. We were both in a rather awkward position; I didn’t want to bring up what happened yesterday in fear that she might become distant again. A repetition of yesterdays events was the last thing I’d want to happen.
“Well, I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”I said heading towards the door.
“What is it?”
“You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah, I love you too, Mom”
“I know it’s selfish, but just give me a little time.”
After finishing up the chores, I decided what better way to distract my wandering mind than to go on Facebook. Sadly that was ruined. Logging on, I saw that Rick was online. Having nothing else better to do I started a chat.
Locke: Hey, don’t you have class today?
Rick: Oh, what’s up Locke? I do but I don’t feel like going. Lol
Locke: I see, and nothing much.
Rick: Anything new happen with Claire?
Locke: Yeah, we ended up talking that night. She couldn’t go through with it. 🙂
Rick: That’s great news, buddy! It at least let’s you know she cares about your feelings.
Locke: Yeah it does, but it’s a bit awkward between us. I’m not really sure where we stand anymore.
Rick: You gotta be more optimistic. Come on she didn’t sleep with a random dude, so she’s obviously considering taking it to the next level with you. 😀
Locke: Yeah, last night she sure was ready to take it to the next level. >_>
Rick: Wait, what?!
Locke: It’s nothing, I’d rather not get into it.
Once me and Rick finished talking I went and sat on the couch. “Might as well watch TV,” I muttered to myself. Suddenly I heard footsteps descending the stairs.
“Locke, we need to talk.”
Mom was wearing a one piece white dress, that reached to her knees.
“Alright,” I said raising up off the couch.
“Would you rather talk in the dining room or my bedroom?
“Dining room, I guess?” My best assumption as to why she didn’t want to talk in the living room, was because of last night.
“Alright, come honey.”
I followed her me and Mom sat at the table.
Mom took a deep breath before talking.
“First and foremost; I want to apologize for yesterday. The way I treated you was completely unacceptable. I was behaving like a coward, trying to avoid, and push you away like that.” Mom reached across the table and grabbed my hand.” What you said resonated with me on so many levels, for a multitude of different reasons. It let me know; just how much you cherish me, and also allowed me to see how badly I ended up hurting you. What you heard that night when I was talking to Grandma,” she sighed before continuing.
“It was another one of my childish excuses to run away. I was frustrated, I couldn’t find anyone to build a relationship with. No, I think subconsciously; I didn’t want to because I had you. It’s true I missed your, Father, and even to this day I still do. But I blamed his death on you as an excuse to run away from how I truly feel about you.”
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