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This written work is Not Safe For Work! You have been warned.
Fictional Disclaimer:
i. This is a work of fiction. This work is intended for adult audiences above the age of 18. It is prohibited to provide access to any portion or entirety of this work or any information or description of the contents to any minor. This work is not intended to be read, provided to, or accessed by anyone under the age of 18 years old, age of majority, or the age of consent whichever is greater. All the names, places, businesses, incidents, characters, locales, and events herein are either the products of the authors imagination or used in a purely fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. (Unless you have video that proves otherwise, then I want to see it.)
ii. This work contains descriptions of acts that may be sexually graphically descriptive, erotic, immoral, illegal, condemned by some church, politician, state, or just unsafe.
iii. These acts may result in injury, castration, death, impotence, marriage, or worse if attempted in real life. Your admission into the Darwin Awards due to any act based upon this work is your fault.
iv. Do not take the events in this work as proof of the plausibility, legality, sanity, or safety of any particular description or practice.
v. The content of this work may not be considered or read as a depiction of the desires, opinions, or fetishes of the author.
vi. By reading, accessing, or otherwise utilizing this work you agree to wave all compensation in the event of any loss, inconvenience, damage, injury, or death to any person or property because of or while making use of the information in this work. The actions and events in this work shall not be construed as promotion or approval of those actions in real-life situations by the author.
vii. All acts, actions, and descriptions in this work are whole cloth fiction; said acts, actions, and descriptions appearing in this work may be illegal if performed in real life and can result in prosecution by law enforcement. It is your responsibility to comply with all laws, rules and regulations that are applicable.
viii. This work is not intended to be used as an instruction manual.
ix. Do not drink-drive while snogging or fucking.
x. Drinking while fucking may increase risk of pregnancy.
xi. Drinking to excess may result in injury, death and YouTube videos that you can never live down, or live to see.
xii. Drinking to incest is just bloody wrong and you deserve to be in dock. (I hope your solicitor sucks.)
xiii. Any legal ramifications are completely and totally your fault due to your actions or inactions and are not in any way the problem of the author, this includes the introduction by prison staff of any cell mate named Bubba that may have designs on your arse-hole.
xiv. Any god-like, tree-based, or blue life forms were not harmed in the making of this work.
xv. Several politicians, and the managers, accountants, and solicitors of said god-like, tree-based, or blue life forms were tormented mercilessly and left to rot following a vicious ostracising by a dull ostraciser. But they had it coming.
I am Groot.
PROLOG
Travel. I hate it. Putting up with airports, lost luggage, lousy hotels, and the cheapest cars-to-let that the company will grudgingly approve are some of the high points. People. Well people are the other issue, usually. Humanity is a wonderful concept; although humans endeavourer to completely bugger this up on a regular basis. Sometimes though, you come across a nice human that just needs some understanding and assistance.
ONE
As I watched Anna walk back to the village I looked down as the thin lace thong in my hand. “Well, bugger.” I mumbled under my breath. I wondered about the local options for ‘Plan B’ out here. Not bloody likely, I thought. Although the Libs had made ‘day after’ contraception legal and available for the asking, you still needed a chemist to proscribe it. In the more conservative, and especially the rural areas, Anna would need to travel to a larger city to keep her accident from making the headlines in the local garden discussions that the ol’ biddies held every morning while hanging wash out to dry.
Inverness was not a far drive, but many in the village traveled there for the large Tesco and other shops that the local villages could not support. Most likely she would need to spend a day or two and travel to Edinburg or Dundee to ‘safely’ get her mistake corrected.
I looked again at her thong before I slipped it in to my pocket and headed back to my room for the night, thinking about how good she felt on my cock and actually feeling a bit sorry for her.
Waking the next morning at the insistence of my phone alarm, I rose, grabbed a fast shower and headed downstairs to see what I could canlı bahis muster up for breakfast before driving back to the MoD site for the second day of inspection.
Stacy was sitting on a stool at the end of the bar working on a stack of papers and occasionally entering something on a laptop. She glanced up as I entered the room.
“Good morning, Stacy.” I said as I walked over to a sideboard that had several rolls and sweetmeats on it.
“Good morning, Thomas. I trust you slept well last night?” Stacy asked.
“I did. Was not quite ready to get up this morning.” Did I hear something odd in her voice, I thought. Na, just not fully awake yet.
“I thought you would. Your breakfast will be up in a few minutes. Have a seat where you like.” She said.
OK, so now I am awake, and what does she know. I’ll need to look for a camera before it gets dark today. I made a non-committal grunt and a nod.
Breakfast arrived shortly and to my surprise the eggs Benedict over salmon and crab was wonderful.
After I finished, Stacy slipped off the stool and came over with a paper cup and a few tea bags. “There is hot water in the carafe and some paper bags in the drawer for take away, if you would like a bite later.”
“Thank you, I am running a bit late so take away is probably for the best.” I said.
“More the pity, I’d enjoy your company this morning. Perhaps you will have supper with me tonight?” Stacy said as she placed her hand on my arm.
“Well, considering the alternatives are go hungry or suffer an MRE, I will be in for supper.” I said.
Stacy laughed. “No, silly man, I meant would you have supper with me, not just have supper here. Tonight is usually the slow night of the week and I don’t expect more than a few regulars. I usually let my staff run the place and act like a customer.”
“Oh, well in that case, I would be honoured to sup with you this eve.” I said, with a slight bow.
“Wonderful, what time should I expect you?” Stacy asked?
“Well, typically if all goes well I finish the second day by 1630. If things don’t go well, 1730 is my cut-off regardless. How does 1900 suit you?” I asked.
“1900, suites me fine. Casual dress, by the way. I don’t do formal.” she said.
“Fortunate for me, I can do casual, and short of a trip to High Street, that is about it. Where shall I met you?” I asked.
“Oh, just pop in. I’ll save you a spot at the bar.” Stacy giggled as she finished the sentence. I wondered what the joke was, but had a feeling I would find out.
“I’ll see you tonight, then.” I said.
Stacy leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Looking forward to it.” she said as she smiled and headed back to the bar to continue her paperwork.
I slipped a couple biscuits and some jelly packs in the paper bag, filled the insulated paper cup with hot water and an Earl Gray, and then started for the car.
I thought about the prior night as I drove up to the MoD site. Screwing the local school teacher was an unexpected pleasure. The married local school teacher, I corrected myself. Well, to be fair, she wanted it, and actually started it to boot. Although blowing a load up her cunny was not what she wanted, it was about unavoidable at the time. So, the question remained, where was the camera, and what sort of resolution did it have. I had to assume Stacy had something out there and either she was watching the feed or had seen it this morning.
Most CCTV systems, even the 199 pound Tesco specials, had a motion activated recording mode now. Some were more advanced than others and could differentiate between a small animal or weather and a human, a few had quite good low lux imagery. An IR illumination lamp or two could make a patio as bright as noon without the human eye seeing more than a very dull deep red glow if they looked right at the lamp. Very easy to overlook if you were not actually looking for it. The downside was everything was normally in black and white. Well, shades of gray actually. Perhaps 50 shades, if my suspicions were correct.
TWO
The day went slowly, one inspection checklist after another. Each function and person performing as expected in a highly controlled and highly classified facility. A few minor issues here and there got documented, and most were able to be corrected right away. Those that could not, were entered in the facilities master log for correction later.
What seemed like endless hours later, I climbed back up the four flights of stairwell to the surface and fresh air. As much as the air in any high security compartmented underground facility is filtered, it still smells like a mix of old socks, stale crackers, and something electrical that only exists in a telephone central office, but I’m buggered if I have ever figured out what actually makes that smell.
I made it back to the inn by 1815 and had enough time to clean up and still make it down to the pub in in time for my ‘date’.
I walked in a few minutes bahis siteleri before 1900 and Stacy was at the end of the bar in a very sheer light yellow sleeveless top, matching camisole, modern ‘loud’ MaCleod kilt, and dark gray button boots that came to mid calf. The top did little to hide her impressive chest and my dick started to get hard the moment I saw her and I had to fight like hell to keep it from becoming a protrusive problem in my slacks.
I headed towards her as she turned from a conversation with the bartender and saw me, a smile came to her face.
Joining her at the almost empty bar, she gave me a quick but affectionate hug. “I see you made it back from the dark bowels of Her Majesties fortress.” she said as she release me from her hug.
“Well, leef fair maiden, t’was an epoch battle of wits against beasts legion, but your siker knight errant did slay with wisdom, that and a sharp pencil were my saviour.” I quipped.
That got a laugh from Stacy and several near enough to hear. “Well, come hither my errant knight, your lady is hungry.”
Stacy took my arm and lead me to a corner table already set with water, a carafe of wine, and bread covered in linen in a wicker basket. I pulled her chair out and sat her then took my own seat.
As I unfolded my napkin and placed it across my thigh I asked how her day went.
“Oh, more of the same. Unloaded the lorry this morning, stocked the pantry and back bar, fought the paper monsters, and discovered the Libs are trying to raise the alcohol taxes, again. Just another day in the hinterlands.” Stacy said as she placed her napkin across her lap.
“You may have had more fun than I did. The paper monsters were the totality of my day.” I said as I took a sip of the wine. “Mmm, this is quite good. What is it?”
“Just a house blush, I get a good deal if I order it in by the half barrel. It’s an Italian vineyard that provides wine for some of the commercial restaurants, but the owners are family friends, so they set up a small side distribution for me.” Stacy said.
“Speaking of family, the MacLeod kilt?” I left the question open.
“Yes, direct lineage. My full name is Stacy Ann Margarat MacLeod.” she said.
“Well, that is a surprise. I also trace back on the line, but some priest screwed up the spelling around 1840 and we have been stuck with the weather version. The colour looks good on you.” I said.
“Hmmm, you did not happen to bring your kilt with?” Stacy asked with a sly smile.
“Alas, no. I try to travel with as little as possible. The company kit is more than enough to cause problems if I need to fly. If I can get away with a backpack for the rest I’m all about it. Fortunately, I rarely need to wear a suite on site visits, they are not conducive to my work generally. Why do you ask?” I said.
Stacy, the sly smile still on her lips, looked in to her wine glass. “Oh, just a passing thought. I take it there is no Mrs. MacCloud?”
“No, never seemed to find the time. University, military, and then this job keeps me on travel at least half the time. The rest I’m usually out riding or playing radio.” I said, watching her eyes.
Stacy looked up as she took a sip of wine. “Riding and playing radio?”
“I have a BMW adventure motorbike and I also have my amateur radio operator license. Between the two, they really can fill up time. The motorbike is wonderful to see the countryside and the radio is great for times when the weather is crap.” I said.
The server arrived then and placed a plate of thinly sliced braised duck, peas, carrots, and baked potato before us.
“I do hope you don’t mind I picked out the meal?” Stacy said.
“No, not at all, this looks and smells wonderful.” I said.
As we ate we made small talk, discussing the motorbike trips I had taken, life in a small village and whatnot’s. A few times I felt her foot brush against my leg.
THREE
After dinner and desert, spotted dick and clotted cream, the pub was empty. As Stacy mentioned that morning, there had not been more than an handful of customers that evening. Stacy suggested we take a stroll over to her cottage so her staff could close up.
As we left the inn, I offered my arm and she placed her hand in mine. She walked close to me, her height only a couple inches less than I, made the fit natural.
Her cottage was on the opposite side of the inn property, perhaps 100 meters away, but was isolated by a grass field with a small grove of trees blocking the inn from the sight line. As we walked up the lane to her cottage we simply enjoyed each other without words.
Reaching the cottage, Stacy asked “Inside or outside?”
“Well it is your place so…?” I said.
“Hmmm, it’s a nice warm night, give me a moment I’ll be right back.” Stacy said and quickly walked to the cottage door. Leaving it open she came back in a moment with a long taper on a candle platter. Taking my hand she lead me to a paver patio in front of the bahis şirketleri cottage and placed the candle on a stone table a few feet from a padded wooden covered bench.
Sitting, she patted the bench pad next to her and I took the cue, sitting next to her.
“I don’t often get to sit out, usually the weather is not cooperating or I’m too tired from the inn. Even more rarely do I have any pleasant company to sit with.” Stacy said.
“It’s not often I have a chance to do the same. I try and stay occupied, but sometimes doing nothing is nice too. I just don’t get to do it in such a quiet place. I’m based out of London and my flat there is just off the Thames in Battersea. I can’t remember the last time it was actually dark and I don’t think quiet is ever a term that would apply. Well, at least not in the last 200 years. The only redeeming features is I’m minutes from the office and the A3 gets me out of the city in a reasonable time.” I said as I leaned back. The bench swing shifted a bit and I found us both somewhat reclined.
“Oh, I should have warned you, this is a swing and a recliner. Makes for a nice nap lounger, the few times I get to enjoy it.” Stacy said as she shifted and turned towards me a bit.
“I would just think so, seems purpose built for naps and like activities.” I said as I moved a bit to let her settle in next to me. I could feel her breasts pressing against my side as she rested her head on my shoulder.
“Yes, and like activities.” She said as I felt her lips brush my neck.
I turned my head slightly and she moved to kiss my neck and across my cheek. Her fingers traced a slow circle across my chest. Letting her lead, I slipped my fingers across her flat tummy and just under her breasts, feeling the silk of her sheer top. Her fingers found my right nipple as her lips met mine. I kissed her softly and slipped my fingers up across her left breast, caressing her tenderly, her nipple hard and erect through her top and bra. As her mouth opened and our tongues met she pinched my nipple. I returned the touch and she moaned into my mouth, her kiss turning to desire.
Uncountable minutes later she broke the kiss and nibbled her way to my ear. “I hope you don’t think I seduce my costumers on a regular basis. It’s just that it’s been a long while…” she whispered.
Before I could say anything, Stacy’s hand slipped inside the waistband of my pants. I helped her by undoing my belt. The button and zipper were quickly opened and her hand was soon wrapped around my hard shaft and slowly stroking it. I cupped her breast and continued to play with her nipple as her lips nibbled on my ear.
After I shifted just a bit, Stacy was able to get my shaft out the fly of my boxers and was tracing her fingers along my balls in between her strokes. I let my fingers move to the top button of her silk top and opened it, tracing my fingers across her skin along the top of her camisole before moving to open the rest of her blouse.
As I finished with the last button, Stacy sat up and pulled her blouse off then reached back and undid her strapless bra, before slipping it off from under the camisole. She leaned back in and slid her tongue into my mouth for a moment, then she slid back on the bench and put her face in my lap. I watched her as she ran her tongue around the tip of my dick and then slowly began to lick all the way down to my balls and back up the other side. As soon as she reached the tip of my cock-head, she slipped her lips over the head and ran her tongue around the head and across the pee-slit several times.
While she toyed with my cock, I lifted the back of her skirted kilt and ran my fingers along the back of her legs and across her ass cheeks. Not surprised to find her without any panties, she spread her legs and I was soon sliding my fingers along her very wet and slick cunt lips. Using three fingers, I collected a goodly bit of her wetness and spread it up and around her anus. As she took more of my cock into her mouth, I used a finger and gently teased it into her arse-hole in-between dipping my index finger up her wet cunt. We quickly found a rhythm as as my finger entered either her twat or her anus, she took my cock deeper into her mouth.
She soon found the deepest she could take me was about three quarters of my length before she started gagging. For my efforts, due to the angle of my hand, I was not able to get a finger into both her cunt and arse at the same time. Although the angle was problematic, Stacy started to climax after a few minutes of my fingering her holes. I felt her cunt begin to clench on my finger before her first moan. As I worked her cunt, clit and arse-hole, Stacy’s climax continued to build and she reciprocated by trying to work the rest of my dick into her mouth. Her orgasm was sudden and so violent that I had to pull my hand from between her legs and hold her hips to keep her from falling off the recliner. She arched backwards, my dick slipping from her mouth, her entire body shaking as her climax took hold. After a few moments, the orgasm passed and she put her head back in my lap. I slipped my hand back between her legs and found she had squired an immense amount of her cum from her pussy.
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